This article revolves around the author’s alcohol lamp fireplace named Dave, which the author regards as a "family member." Americans are said to love three things most—apple pie, the Super Bowl, and chatting around a fireplace—and while the author had checked off the first two, installing a traditional fireplace in their apartment was impossible due to the landlord. Thus, Dave came into their life.
On Dave’s first day at home, the flames shot up rapidly at first but calmed down and danced gracefully three minutes later. Dave significantly transformed the author’s social life: previously, the author could only invite friends over for "Netflix and chill," but now they could invite others to see the fireplace, making friends think the author had become more tasteful (in fact, it was just an impulsive online purchase). Dave also excels at creating ambiance, elevating regular date nights to romantic fine-dining scenes, though there was an incident where too much fuel made flames almost reheat the author’s spaghetti.
The author lists rules for using Dave: no refueling when it’s lit, keeping a safe distance, and using specialized fuel (advising against experimenting with homemade moonshine). Dave is highly versatile: it warms the living room in winter, sets a camping vibe on the balcony in summer, and even served as extra lighting on Thanksgiving (though it charred a turkey wing that was too close).
Now the author has become an ambassador for alcohol lamp fireplaces, recommending "getting a Dave" to everyone. The elderly neighbor once mistook Dave for the author’s new boyfriend, but later bought one and named it Doris. In the digital age, Dave’s real flickering flame is therapeutic—it communicates with warmth and light, never fights for the remote, nor complains about the author eating too much pizza. Finally, the author suggests not naming the fireplace like they did, as cleaning Dave now feels as weird as giving a pet a bath.
